Cold Shoulder

If there is one good thing about winter it’s got to be the fact that my neighbour is less inclined to parade around the flat in his underpants. I can enter my apartment at any time of day without the fear of trespassing upon him in the hallway wearing nothing but his knickers.

“It’s freezing out there!” I say as I enter our shared hallway after a quick shopping trip.

My neighbour is not impressed. “It was much colder yesterday,” he says, “Sure, it’s still cold today I suppose. But yesterday was worse. Anyway, minus 20, minus 25, who cares? I don’t. But then again, life has made me tougher than most people.”

Frohes Neues

Deer Sausage

My neighbour rings my bell. I open the door, he gives me a sausage. “Hirsch Salami” it says above a picture of a deer, proudly staring at me.

“I got this as a gift, got more of ’em too. That’s good stuff, you shouldn’t throw that away.”

“Really, is it good?”

“Of course. It’s deer. You know what a deer is, don’t you? That’s good stuff.”

“Well, thanks!”

He says hold on, I got something else. I hear him in his flat, making one of those yelping noises that I can never really place. Comes out with a magazine.

“Here’s this Gewinnspielmagazine I always get, they sent it to me twice. You know I participate in all these competitions.”

“Ah yeah, that’s the magazine you were in once, right?”

“Yeah. They sent it to me twice. You should take a look. Who knows.”