Frau Halt Takes a Tenant (and regrets it)

Frau Halt was baffled as to why the Lord above was putting her faith to the test like this. She’d been as duteous as ever in all her daily affairs. Time and again she’d been telling off kids feeding the ducks in the park even though numerous signs clearly forbade such an act. Last Sunday alone she had scouted, spotted and subsequently reported seven older gentlemen in blatant defiance of the smoking ban. And, as always, she had diligently guarded her PIN code every time she used a cash point, even when she was sure only CCTV cameras were watching.

Frau Halt

Her name was Frau Halt and she epitomized being a German woman. More specifically, she had a career as a local civil servant, a peculiar interest in leather belts and teddy bears and she loved zucchini for how they reminded her of a holiday fling in Zimbabwe. Apart from that, she possessed all the qualities of a specific type of German woman found all across the Heimat.

She was punctual to a tee, meticulously pronounced words like “diszipliniert” and truly wished things in general could be boxed in structures of exclamation marks. She believed in rules and the importance of adhering to them. Like so many others, she considered it a duty of hers to point out the shortcomings of others, and considered it a remarkable offence to let things slide no matter how trivial the circumstance. Her collection of 19^th Century sex toys, however, was unrivalled.