Unfinished Rant Against a Loveless Cinema

Some despise the multiplex, others eschew the arthouse, but in many reasonably sized cities it would appear that both can co-exist pretty well, making ends meet by catering to mostly different target audiences. The former impresses with giant-sized screens and state of the art equipment, the latter tends to provide warmth and intimacy as well as an atmosphere unrivalled by home cinema.

Frankfurt am Main plays host to a venue that doesn’t care about meeting the needs of either category, nonchalantly willing to piss all over its punters’ movie-going experience by serving up the cinematic equivalent of soggy chicken nuggets.

Meet the Turmpalast.

Unfinished Letter to the Pope

Dear Ben,

I just wanted to wish you a happy new year, peace on earth, and all that. I know I’m a little late, but after that heart-warming spell of Christmas cheer you spouted on December 23 of last year, I really feel the need for some correspondence.

I was a little sad to read that you considered it important to highlight blurring gender roles as a danger to the existence of humankind. Not only was it a dubious slice of timing for someone calling themselves a Christian – its message was also wholly inappropriate.

Unfinished Manifesto Against Stingy Fuckers

Chances are I will never be rich, but that’s alright. It’s not looking like I’m gonna be poor soon either, though I probably squander too much on a monthly basis. But truly loaded I will never be, and that’s because thinking about money – finding good deals, trying to get the most from spending the least – gives me the feeling of dirty nails on an old blackboard.